just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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