That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
