so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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