biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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