Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
