She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
