i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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