so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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