nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
