11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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