I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
