The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
