Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize