just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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