I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
