when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The best revenge is premature balding
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
