Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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