i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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