Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
