I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
soo... how was my night?
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