So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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