I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
