I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
