Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
