somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You made out with two different species that night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
