I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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