I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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