I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
