you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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