you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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