Don't you send me to vm
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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