This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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