I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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