The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
