Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
its liver damage thursday
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
