just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
