I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Bring me that man meat
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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