She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
