So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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