Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize