bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Man, jail baloney is awful.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
