Buhtt sex?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
