it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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