He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love you. Go after that dick
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
