it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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