when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
