I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
