I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
