On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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