How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
