just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
