He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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