I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
