Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
