there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
