The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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