I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
